bakit hindi na ako magseset ng gym goals

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Sumuko na ako.

Madalas kasi gumagawa ako ng gym goals ko, pero ngayon hindi na. Maya-maya kasi, titigil ako magbuhat ng bakal sa loob ng isang buwan or dalawang buwan o kaya mayamaya kumakain ako ng cake, ice cream, bandehadong kanin etc.

Pero may aaminin ako, hindi ako nag-bebench press na gamit ay barbell dati. Nahihiya ako for two things: baka bumukol at baka di ko mabuhat. Hahaha.

Speaking of hiya, dati talaga napakagalang ko sa gym. Kukuha na lang ako ng dumb bells or equipments, nakayuko pa ulo ko at saka mag-eexcuse, "Sir pwede ba magamit ang xx pounds ek ek," o kaya naman "ate pagkatapos mo ako naman."

Syempre talaga mahihiya ako, mahiyain kasi akong tao at marunong ako gumalang. Well pinalaki talaga ako na magalang.

Pero times have changed.

Bukod sa pag galang marunong na din ako lumuhod sa men's locker room, pangarap ko kasi maging madre kaya sinisimulan ko na...ay

Ay teka mali na pala ang kino-confess ko.

Anyway, yun nga mahiyain nga ako.

Pero times have changed.

Sayang naman ang sungay ko at skills ko sa bullying kung di ko ito i-eemploy sa gym.

Halimbawa na lamang noong last July, habang nakaharap ako sa salamin at nag se-seated shoulder press, si kuya biglang hinila ang isang bench na pwedeng iincline at doon buong ningning sya na nag incline bench press with a 50-pounder dumb bells. So imbes na mag-excuse me ako, niluwagan ko na lang ang pin ng bench nya, dahil saktong tumayo sya para makipag-tsismisan sa kumpare nya doon sa tread mill after ng isang set. On the lighter side, wala na rin naman madadamage sa mukha nya eh.

Pero at least di ko sya pinatid na tulad ng ginawa ko..ay

Ay teka, mali na naman ang naiitype ko.

Ah yun nga, sabi ko hindi na ako magseset ng mga gym goals na gaya ng Abs to Die for or 8% na Body Fat.

Nafufrustrate lang ako.

Happy na ako hindi na bumalik ang aking bronchitis ko, na for the past two years, ganitong season sila sumulpot. At im physical fit daw ayon sa aming annual physical exam.

Pero syempre iba pa din kapag may goals sa gym, so magseset pa din ako ng goals hahaha!
(uhmm medyo gusto ko na din batukan ang sarili ko)

Actually GOAL, walang S.

Ang gym goal ay maging kasing ganda ng katawan ko si Craig Horner ng palabas na the Legend of the Seeker. Shetttt..nanlalaway ako sa kanya. Pati kulani ko natutunaw kapag napapanood ko sya. Hayyy.. Oh Craig.

Hay nipples pa lang ulam na.

the good intent

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We all begin with good intent.

Love was raw and young.

We believed that we could change ourselves and the past could be undone. But we carry on our backs the burden that time always reveals in the lonely light of morning and in the wound that would not heal.

It's the bitter taste of losing everything that I've held so dear.

But it's one missed step one slip before you know it and there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed.

Truth be told that I've tried my best but somewhere along the way I got caught up in all there was to offer and the cost was so much more than I could bear.

*I scrambled Fallen lyrics by Sarah McLachlan into a prose. It aint my original. Like Alanis Morissete, she is ethereal for me. Like Ralph Waldo Emerson and Hellen Keller, she is one of my major influences.

The lyrics is about our dreams of loving and our desire to be loved, then reality struck. It so emo and sad but then there is a grain of truth:

Na gusto ko din gumawa ng video na nakahubad ng tulad sa Fallen hahaha.

probably altered

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It was one of the paths I left years ago. Though no shrubbery grows on it, it has the glamour that inspired people for so long.

And it was best done alone or sometimes with friends or lover, with my back spreading on the ground or shoreline, eyes conquering the starlit sky.

But I can’t do it inside the city, in the city that I adore.. The child, the artist, the dreamer, the crazy—different members of the crowd called myself is begging for this re-experience.

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The swift maneuver of the bus led me to an elevated destination somewhere south. It was almost 11:00 PM, usually by this time, one can find me tucked in my bed, readying for slumber. I love to sleep, because I am at most beautiful when I am sleeping, not to mention at my sweetest.

Since I didn’t plan for this, I laid my jacket on the grass and stony earth, wishing sana walang langgam. The child in me was impatient and containing his excitement is beyond description.

It was the dreamer in me that was lost in magic and wonders when I took my cap off my head. The heaven was staring at me, his breathe were the breeze that rolls on the hills, gently stroking my face, swaying my hair.

Oh the night sky… I wonder if it did really etched destiny on our palms. I wonder how he do it.. I wonder why it has to be done.”

I’m crazy, I know.

I talked to fern woods and doves. I even converse with clouds. They always listen and communicate back with piquancy.

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Stars I’ve learned are mere visions of the past. Light travels an amazing distance, but took million of years before it touched lives and imagination of men.

I was on my way home before dawn.. I remembered someone who want to go camping with me, someone who also wants to experience a white Christmas.

I fumbled for my mobile inside my pocket after paying for the bus ticket.

“Ei, good morning. Makati is already revving up its Christmas decors nga pala on the avenue. Kapag kumpleto na, kape tayo tapos lakad tayo minsan late night ng weekends. Para konti tao. Hehe. =)”

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drip

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Let’s breathe.

Exit door.

Let’s breathe.

It’s the way you press your precious pain.

Stairs.

Smoke alarm.

Dust.

Silence.

Let’s breathe.

Slow dance in a hustle space.

Little cries in a bundled time.

Nakedness and cream, temporary happiness dripping.

Let’s breathe.

You go up.

I go down.

Exit doors.

Fluorescent light.

No one saw us breathe.

mutual assured destruction

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October 1962, nasaksihan ng buong mundo ang anino ng dapat kauna-unahang nuclear war.

Napagalaman kasi ng United States na nagtatayo ng missile facilities ang USSR sa kanyang loyal na ally na Cuba. Facilities na kayang mag-launch ng missiles na may nuclear warheads na kayang tunawin ang malalapit na lungsod ng gaya Miami at New York (Florida is only 80 miles away from Cuba) hanggang sa Washington D.C. ang kapitolyo.

October 22, lumabas sa TV si US Pres. Kennedy para i-announce sa lahat na hindi magdadalawang isip na gumawa ng military actions ang US laban sa “"clandestine, reckless, and provocative threat to world peace."

Anyway nagkasundo din ang US at USSR.

Isa sa interesting na aspect ng Cuban Missile Crisis ay ang tinatawag na MAD.

MAD or ibig sabihin ay Mutual Assured Destruction. Isa itong theory sa art of war, kung saan, kapag ang isang bansa, na may nuclear capabilities ay sinampulan ng isa pang bansa na nuclear capable din, it is presumed na mag-uubusan sila ng lahi. Kaya nga may gumagalang mga jets or submarine na nuclear powered around the world ang United States ay dahil in case na madisable ng isang attack ang land base arsenals nila, madaling lang makipagretaliate sa kalaban.

Kaya hindi nagkabombahan noon ang USSR at US ay dahil sa presumptions ng mutual assured destruction.

Same thing sa blogging..

Or properly put sa pakikipagkaibigan.

Korek ba Ewik?

No. Hindi ito threat.

Haha!

*Though it kept the world a safer during the Cold War as a theory, hindi perfect ang mutual assured destruction. Hindi applicable ang MAD sa mga terrorist attack.